Real’s collapse … the X-Files explanation
By: Ian Rose | April 26th, 2007I believe I have found evidence of the greatest conspiracy in the history of American soccer. Well, probably the only conspiracy in the history of American soccer. Let’s face it … it’s that not interesting of a history. But still, prepare yourself for the truth. Real Salt Lake midfielder Freddy Adu … is a pod person.
I know how it sounds. It sounds like I took a little trip down to California (Oregon’s Mexico) and smoked a bit too much Herbalife with the LA Galaxy. But I assure you that my theories, however improbable, are the only remaining possibility. The invasion has begun.
How else to explain the fall from grace of wunderkind Adu, once thought to be the future of the American game? The scared, lost youngster on the pitch this weekend against Chivas USA was surely not the same person as that confident 14-year-old, the youngest professional ever in any American sport, who came into the league a few years ago with endless potential. What’s more likely? - that he has really fallen that far off of form, or, as I’ve stated, he’s been replaced by a space alien. So, I implore our future masters, those cold, indifferent minds from beyond the stars - bring back our Freddy and remove this impostor from our sight. Your secret is out, and for future reference, if you plan on replacing any more humans, here’s a little tip - humans have use of both feet, not just one.
Category: Team News
Tags: Footballers possibly kidnapped and replaced by space al, Freddy Adu, Real Salt Lake, RSL, Team NewsSubscribe
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Comments
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Somewhere on a planet far, far away there are tons of players who were snatched away before they could become the next great thing.
Seriously, I don’t think Adu enjoys playing soccer. He plays like he is scared to make a mistake. He needs to go out to the park and have a kick around with some other 17-year-olds. And then afterwards he should play spin the bottle with a supermodel.
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United States
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yea right….did any one really believe he was 14 when he signed@ you want to bame some one try Nike.
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United States -
Yeah, I think the real Freddy is currently hanging out and playing Go Fish with the real Landon Donovan, somewhere in that galaxy (get it? Galaxy?) far, far away.
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United States -
He’s not even 18 yet, hes a freaking 17 year old give him a break man, what were you doing when you were 17 years old? give him some time, he went from playing in a big national capitol to Mormonville USA. Give him some time, he just needs to adjust and mature
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United States -
I think Freddie has been a good addition to the team. But look at the others around him. Medhi is only in his second year and is playing a more attacking role that he seems to be uncomfortable with-he is comfortable possesing but not attacking. Kline–a nice guy and very fit but doesn’t give defenders chills down their backs because he prefers to run down the touch line instead of attack the box and can’t cross with his left foot! So, if I’m a holding midfielder on the opposing team, I am going to gun for Freddie everytime! THE REAL PROBLEM IS: our best attacking/possesing midfielder–a guy who keeps defenders and def.midfielders honest is out for 4-8 weeks–Andy Williams. With him in it allows Freddie a little more freedom with less attention from opposing defenders.
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United States -
Trevor - I can see where you’re coming from - he is only 17, but to me, the more important point is that he’s a professional athlete. I consider him a pro before a 17-year-old, and I think if you asked Freddy, he’d prefer to be considered that way. I’m a fan and I want him to do well, but I hold him to the standard of an MLS midfielder, not a 17-year-old. To his credit, he’s playing much much better tonight.
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